"My Call To A Higher Love..."
For as long as I can remember I've always had a love for God...for Christ Jesus. As a very young child I had a deep desire to serve and live my life for Him...doing his will, but found it hard to fully surrender to Him as I became an adult. As I'm sure most of can relate to. Of course I made it all the more difficult and impossible by not keeping my eyes focused on Jesus instead of the world and inviting ALL the wrong influences. I stood in my own way. At the age of 9 I received the Lord as my savior. That same year my brothers and I were water baptized and went to church camp where I also received the powerful gift of The Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues, a very powerful experience for a 9 yr old. I realized then the call that God placed on my life. God gave me visions and dreams of things to come.
As an adult I realized that I had a choice and that I could choose... Out of fear from rejection in my own life and plain selfishness I shunned that call and I chose my own way. I did not think that I was capable to answer his call, let alone, capable of pleasing him.
After years of struggling back & forth, hard times and knock me down trials that tore my whole world apart... I finally realized that MY WAY was not working. AFTER, I lost EVERYTHING dear to me I decided to yield to my selfish ways & surrender my will to God's will so that I may finally answer that call. "A Call To A Higher LOVE"... His Love.
See, I know that without those trials... would have probably never fully given my heart to my Savior! The Savior who held my hand along the way and is still here guiding me through trials I face today. Yes, with peace that I know I WILL make it through, because he died and gave himself up for me to do so. I go into more detail about my journey in the book I'm writing,
Some of my most difficult trials were in marriage. God was calling me to love and pray for those who I felt had hurt and betrayed me the most for things that i considered unforgivable. While praying for them, God changed me and showed me how to forgive, let go and let Him, and MOST importantly to LOVE when it was most difficult and very impossible to do without Him. Learning also to love when things don't go the way I planned them to be, or when my prayer is NOT answered in the way I think it should be.
It was praying for someone else, that didn't love me in return, that God used to bring about a change in my heart. That change began by me receiving the LOVE that God has for me then loving who He created me to be so that I could love others in that same manner.
Then came the death of my eldest son... A very tragic and unimaginable event that I dreamt about beforehand, but would never speak about because of my belief that you do not speak what you do not want to come to pass, but it happened ANYWAY. I wanted to be ANGRY w/ God, and I believe that I was for a short period, but as it has been said, "Hindsight is 20/20" ( In hindsight things are obvious that were not obvious from the outset; one is able to evaluate past choices more clearly than at the time of the choice.) I know now that He was preparing me for what was to come... ❤
"My Higher Calling."
God is so so very good! An Awesome Father who loves me so much! Finally discovering and receiving the amazing love God has for me and obtaining the only real true peace there is...the peace that surpasses ALL understanding! Embracing everlasting life, forgiveness, mercy & grace which only comes through our belief in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! The best choice I've made yet! I Love the Lord with ALL that I am. I am Full of Life, Love & Laughter on a mission to please God with my faith! Holy Scripture says,
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that comes to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." Hebrews 11:6
"We are ALL called to LOVE... to PRAY, have FAITH, and to STAND with others... to BELIEVE God for the high purpose that He has called each and EVERY one of us to.